Ups and downs

I've started writing this one month into my travels and have only just got a chance to create this blog

4^th July

In life we all have our ups and downs, our good days and bad days, the days when all seems to go right and then when all seems to go wrong. When travelling however, these feelings are heightened and more pronounced. Take yesterday for example, it was high day. The weather has been hot, almost too hot but that didn’t stop me enjoying the Sanssoci Park in Potsdam. 

This was my second visit; it’s so big you could not take it all in on one day unless you hurry around and don’t savour its beauty and splendour, but I will come back to that later. In the evening I headed for a bar, the one I had discovered just the day before – a very unusual bar,  more on this later too. My reason for going to this bar was they were screening the World Cup and England were playing Columbia. What’s more, the bar has a good environment. I ordered a weiß beer and settled to hopefully see an England victory. This bar also has Internet connection and not all do so another good reason to be there. I connected with Jason, my Dutch friend who teaches English in the same city I used to be in – Zunyi. I use WeChat; it is the prime messaging network in China. He was out having dinner with a lady, so not watching the game. Anyway, part way through the game I had a message from someone I never expected to get a message from, my ex girlfriend Miranda – A Chinese lady also in Zunyi. I hadn’t heard from her almost since I started travelling a month ago and assumed she was pissed off with me for leaving. It is a long story as to why I left China but one reason was although I had a good relationship with her, she was married but separated and was either unable or unwilling to divorce him. I never got the clear picture but it was something to do with family connections and money. What’s more, I only saw her once a week and our relationship had to be a secret, so although it was good, it was not good enough for me; a secretive once a week affair.

I was very happy to hear from her because she still held a strong place in my heart and there were times when I so missed her, especially when visiting beautiful places and wanting to share the experience. Anyway, I watched the game and chatted with Miranda, AND England win through penalties kicks. I can’t remember England ever winning a game through penalties. Miranda said it was her dream to visit Europe with the implication that she would come to see me, and so after leaving the bar I was on a high. Not that I think that she will ever be able to come and be with me but we are still in touch and that meant a lot. I went to bed very satisfied – it was a good day.

And so, yesterday was a fine day but today started with a wallop, I couldn’t find my Chinese phone, the one I had been using last night. I had the British phone but with no Chinese contacts. My Chinese phone also has all my photos etc. The reason I have a British phone is that my Chinese one couldn’t open Google app store and seemed to block other sites too including Facebook and YouTube – Chinese government at work here.‘I’ve lost my phone!’ but what made it worse, I had lost my only contact with Miranda and all my other Chinese friends. ‘Maybe it’s at the bar?’ I will go down when it opens at 3 to find out. Meanwhile I had a lot of time ruminate over this problem. If I have really lost it, how could I get in touch with Miranda again? After our reuniting the previous night, it seemed perverse that we could not be in contact again. Would she think I was now ignoring her and that as time went by, she might even think something bad had happened to me? I cursed my carelessness. Surely I would have checked I had everything as I left the bar? I have previous for leaving and losing things on previous travels, surely I couldn’t do it again?

Of course I checked the van thoroughly, there’s not a lot space to check but even so, it could have been lurking somewhere. So all I could do now was to start writing about it to take up some of the time before going to the bar to ask it if is there.

One of the things I have known about myself for quite some while is that anxiety is big problem for me. I can turn the most simple thing into an anxious one. Take for example, having to ask for the key for the toilet at the nearby garage. To do it a few times seemed okay but on a daily basis troubled me. What would they think of this Englishman who so often needs to use their toilet? But why should I care about this? What the hell does it matter? It doesn’t matter but in my mind it did, and so instead of just asking for the key, I would go in and buy something and then ask and hope the same member of staff wasn’t always there. Now, of course I don’t go in just for a pee because that would be far too often. I’ve got a porta pottie in the van but I don’t like shitting in it. Yes, I’ve chemicals in it and if I have to it doesn’t smell but the thought of having to poop in a box in the same room as I sleep and eat doesn’t appeal. And then I have to empty it at some stage and that brings its own difficulties.

 I’ve always worried about what other people think about me and try as I may, I can’t stop getting this ridiculous state of mind. Mind you, I have learnt to become the observer of my thoughts and just see them for what they are – just crazy notions but that doesn’t prevent new ones coming along. All I know is that it wastes my energy in puzzling about others.

Now, I’ve almost lost count of how many days I’ve been parked up at the same place but it’s getting on for a week. The very good thing about it is that you don’t have to pay and it’s location is great because it’s right next to the tram line and a big beautiful park. Each parking space is bordered on three sides by high hazel hedges and has a stone base. Of course with not having to pay means it has no facilities, hence my daily hunt for a loo and also for water. I don’t carry a big water bottle and it’s surprising how much water you can use, even when greatly economising. Anyway these minor problems are far outweighed by its location and that’s it’s free.

Every day I have hoped on the tram, put my credit card in the machine and bought a daily ticket costing €4.20, so I can ride on it as much as I want. The trams glide effortlessly through the city taking precedent over cars and are very frequent, except in the evening. For a motorist encountering trams for the first time however, it can be unnerving. My first encounter with them was in Rostock. I arrived on a rainy afternoon and at one point had to enter a road/tramway at an acute angle. When approaching a road at an acute angle in the van I cannot see using my offside mirror because it does not give a wide enough field of view and I so edged nervously onto the tramway hoping nothing was coming. Also, the other day I sailed across the tram line not thinking about it, although I guess I might have noticed the warning light had it been flashing.

I mentioned at the start about the bar and it’s worth an explanation because it’s quite unique. I had been in need a launderette, as my washing had been gathering up. With the very good help of some ladies in the Eco-park next to where I am parked up, and of course the use of my phone, I head for the address. I found a place where I didn’t have to pay to park along the street and counted down the numbers to number eighty-two. When I finally came to eighty-two I smiled to myself because it was a bar – it must have been a launderette in the past and was converted to a bar, I thought but I was wrong. I went inside to enquire and spoke to a large rugged looking man with long hair tied back in a pony tail, who was probably the owner. As usual I speak in English because I know no German to speak of. He acknowledged and pointed across the room. I turned around and to my surprise in another room which was only partially divided from the bar were washing machines. What I didn’t take notice of when looking for the place was its name – Waschbar. What was even better, they were screening Brazil vs Mexico and so I could wait for my washing to be done and enjoy a beer and the game.

When travelling, there are some things which are really satisfying: an open road, finding good places to park, places without people, having a shower and getting one’s clothes clean. And of course meeting really nice people.

A mention about Sanssoci Park; it is grandiose on an extraordinary scale. It was built for Prussian King Frederick the Great as a summer residence between 1745 & 1747, although I guess some of it took much longer because of its scale. There are a number of magnificent palaces in the grounds, as well as a gold covered Chinese tea house and an Italian style bath house. It truly is a splendour but I can’t help but wonder why someone would need so much when probably most of his subjects had so little. I also wonder how it would be if such kings and queens of the past didn’t build such splendid palaces, what would we have to wander around and admire to today?

My trip to the bar proved negative, my phone had not been found. I offered to give a reward if it's handed in but I didn't hold up much hope.