Elusive butterfly

Saturday 14^th July

When writing a blog, the feeling you get is that you should constantly write something, after all, one is doing and seeing different things but is it really interesting? For instance, yesterday was pretty much the same as the day before, except I didn’t get the blues. I went out walking, took photos, did exercise in the park, sat in the café and drank beer, watched people. The only real difference was Monika took me and her daughter to play mini golf and show me her old haunts. Monika grew up in Marianska Lazne and has lived here for a good part of her life, although she has lived and worked in San Francisco, Ibiza and England doing various jobs.

Monika and Elen

It’s always good when a local shows you around; you get to know a place much better. Monika showed me the ice hockey stadium where two teams were playing, two local teams and no spectators. How easy they make it seem, hurtling over the ice and rarely falling over, unless someone deliberately knocks them down. She showed me where she used to go camping as a child, except now it is the car park of Kaufland supermarket.

After the mini golf it was Monika’s intention to go to the forest to pick mushrooms but her daughter had a bad tummy and so we went back. Monika’s dedication to her daughter is intense, she dotes on her. Monika spends all her free time with her and they even sleep in the same bed, although there is a spare bedroom. When I first knew Monika she always spoke of finding a man to love and having a family but now she only has part of her dream and as a consequence, invests all her energy in her daughter. Today, she still speaks of finding someone to fall in love with and stay in love with, despite her bad experience with her previous relationship. I suppose in fairness, I want the same as her but I don’t repeatedly talk about it or romanticize it so much. I do wonder how and where I will meet someone and sometimes it feels like a preoccupation; too much time to think. This is one problem with travelling alone; it gives you too much time to cogitate on matters. Sometimes it feels like I never will find someone. It does seem like a paradox because if you chase after a relationship and love, it’s like chasing a butterfly, you don’t catch it. However, if you don’t and hope the butterfly will come to you, it doesn’t seem to, only getting tantalizingly close but not close enough; it doesn’t land on you. Maybe as in the old song by Bob Lind, love is an “Elusive Butterfly.”

This morning’s plan was to go to the forest to find mushrooms but with Monika plans often change and she was doing housework, I went alone but not to find mushrooms. The forest is less than a ten minute walk from her home. I passed by the ice hockey stadium and heard a game going on and so stopped to watch. It was hot outside but like a fridge in the enclosed stadium. It’s a fast frenetic game and the players only stay on the ice a few minutes before they are changed for other players. It makes me wonder how they can ever score, considering the net is so small and the guy guarding is so large with so much padding and thick pads on his legs but I suppose they must.

In the forest I found complete tranquillity, only the sound of birds entered my ears and the occasional passing of a plane far above. I was glad to be alone there – no talking. The sun shone through the high canopy of conifers creating a delightful pattern of light and shade on the ground. It is not a dense forest, so the light which gets to the ground allows for a soft carpet of moss to grow; it is soft and silent under foot.

The plan for the afternoon was to visit some place before three, when Monika was to take Elen to see a movie. However, this plan changed too, so now I write. One has to be flexible when visiting Monika – and very patient!